The sign of never-ending night of solitude

2008-04-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

It has been quite some time since I had last put to pen my thoughts and feelings with regards to my own life.

I do not know why, but it seems that outside my supposedly confident exterior, I had been feeling this strange emptiness in my life for the longest time.

There had been sparks of brightness, moments of warmth, and even flickering semblance of love that would emerge and disappear as quickly before I could even grasp them in my hands.

Sigh..

How many times had I done that I wonder.

Those memories of Cambridge primary seemed to always fill with joy and hope and never-ending companionship with my buddies then.

I could never forget the plump Henry whom would always stumble in between the badminton matches we have in the halls. The images of the shuttlecocks flying back and forth and there was even once, when the upper primary kids would barge into our courts and demanded that we ‘surrender’ our territory to them.

*Chuckles*

And I smashed my racket into one of the guy’s face when they tried to bully us into submission. All I remembered of the aftermath was that we actually headed into the toilet to ‘negotiate’, and ended up fighting in the toilet *laughs* as my good pal the head prefect actually came in to stop the fight when he had learned of the incident (and strangely I could not remember his name no matter how hard I tried). That had left me with a broken set of spectacles, torn uniform, and a slightly bloody nose, while those other guys had lesser injuries; we retained ‘control’ of our badminton court in the hall; and strange as it might sound, we actually felt a certain sense of meaningless pride there.

And there was this other time, when we were so engrossed in those Tamiya racing cars that we would forget ourselves. Always trying to outfit and outrace the other guy at the hobby shop on the scaled down racing track. I still remember that my two cars was called the ‘Egress’ and the ‘Avante’, really cool sounding names huh? And we would stay in the shop for so long, that by the time we remembered to go home, the sun would have already started to set; knowing that I would have to steel myself for either some caning or severe lambasting from my mum or dad for returning so late.

I wonder if the hobby shop just behind Golden Landmark hotel is still around.

Such fond memories…

And those joy, pride, and hope seemed harder and harder to reach with every passing year.

I must be getting old...

2006-10-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

It was sometime ago when I've decided to make some reorganisation to my online blog posts.

The original intention of this blog had solely been a site where I could place my rants about people, and certain events that had been interesting in my life. Although the initial few posts had been more or less than prudent in its seriousness, I deem apt to post them since they are about me after all. Yet, due to certain events which had been transpiring around me which I could not seem to ignore, and with the abject seriousness of those topics which I feel would not have the similar impact that I hope would have transcend upon my readers, therefore I've decided to set up another blog while retaining this site as my life's rant page, and would perhaps proceed to revamp this site into one of my dedicated D&D gaming blog posts as well.

Thus, I hope with all considerations, for my readers who follows this current blog of mine, I do wish that you continue to do so. As for some of you whom might wish to visit my blog on my views with regards to more serious topics, may visit this site here at http://azmodeus.wordpress.com.

Apologies for any inconvenience caused. (Not that I really mean it. I just add this in for the sake of it ^^)

Cheers

2006-10-18T01:20:00.000-07:00

Dungeons & Dragons (Part 1)

I am quite sure that most of you probably would have heard of this title somewhere along in your life somewhere, one way or another had you been following popular culture. You would probably have seen the atrociously lousy movie that goes along with the title of it, or perhaps you have played the then popular video arcade games in the 90s, or some might even have seen the tv series of it somewhere.

But what most people might not have known that Dungeons and Dragons did not originate from a tv series, movie or even an arcade game.

Its a roleplaying game.

And I am not even talking about the video/PC Final Fantasy, Diablo, Breath of Fire, Arc the Lad, Romancing Saga type of games. Nor the much popular MMORPG games thats running rampant around such as World of Warcraft, Ultima, or even Dungeons and Dragons Online.

I am talking about the true blue RPGs that runs on pen, paper, and loads of imagination The type of RPGs with friends whom would sit around with you at the dining table, acting out their characters, checking with the next guy if hes got the right spells prepared, discussing their battle plans with the next horde of imaginary monsters that were planning to jump a surprise on them in the next corner kind of RPG.

Since most people do not have an idea of what Dungeons and Dragons roleplaying game is like in the first place, can't say it had been terribly popular in Singapore as well. Perhaps I'll just ramble on a little of my personal experience on how I had started the game.

I guess it all started out when I was in my cousin's room back when I was 10, and to be honest, at that point in time, I have no idea what I was getting into was this addictive. Nonetheless, I was going through his stuffs on his table scanning through a whole bunch of his wierd collections of preserved insects kept in bottles filled with formalin, yea you got it there, bottles of beetles, ants, flies, bees, moths, and even a tiny snake submerged in clear yellowish liquid. It was quite a sight, enthralled for a moment by those innocuous bottles, before moving on to some multi colored faceted dices, those 4, 8, 12, and 20 sided dices catching my attention, again fascinated by the the fact that apart from the standard 6 sided dices (seen it quite often in my relatives mahjong sessions), these dices actually existed. It was when my cousin happened to came back and caught me with the dices, and I think, at that point in time, some kind of wicked idea flashed across his mind and have decided to introduce the game to me. Which being the young impressionable me then, decided why not? =)

And thus I had begun my journey to a fantasy world of giant purple man eating worms, fantastical fire breathing dragons, and cute morbid dwarves with my cousin. With a pen, and a paper, writing down my character's key statistics down, and we are ready to go, and from there I will assumed a a character of a sword wielding hero, donnng classic medieval armor and on my way to save a village from certain destruction by a pillaging orc band. My cousin will fill me in with the backdrop of the place where I was in, of wide open plains of farmlands, as villagers tend to their lands, and children running across the plains chasing butterflies, and as I walked along the wide farm tracks, the farmers came to me and informed me of recent rampaging orc bands which had been threatening the village in exchange for gold and food. As my cousin recites the story to me, as my imaginative minds vividly paints the scene of me championing the cause of good for the peasants and defend the weak against the wicked. As the skirmishes came on hard and fast, rolling dices to indicate how well I had struck the orcs, the higher the roll the better, as I've remember rolling a 20 on the 20 sided dice, as my cousin described my blade arcing down diagonally across the orc's body, the creature looks up at me stupidly, seemingly unhurt, and as he was about to raise his axe to strike at me, its upper torso starts to slide off, as the creature falls to the ground in two, sliced from right shoulder to left lower hip. I could almost imagine the tenseness of the battle, as each of my actions which I took in battle relates to the chances of survival for the villagers, and each roll of my dice translates to the success of my slashes, strikes and parries. The day ended quickly, 4 hours passed just like that within my cousin's room, just the two of us, with him relating the adventure and story, and I lived the life of a hero of honor in glory, saving lives and crushing evil.

The game itself requires at least 2 or more players to play it, one of them will take the role of the DM short for dungeon master, whom takes the role of the storyteller, the person whom arbitrates the rules within the game for the players and narrate the happenstance of what happens within the game and how it affects on the players, whom also assumes the roles of NPCs or non-player characters who appears within the game to interact with the players. As for the players within the game, they each assume a role of a character within the game (or story), where they are the primary cast whom gets to decide and act out their roles, which would ultimately influence the ending of the game which the Dungeon Master had usually already planned for.

To be honest, it was just something which I had not anticipated to be that fun, a game where it just takes a few imaginative players with a hell load of time to spare to sit down and enjoy the story with them, the main players and actors to determine the ending of that story. There was no pre-planned script, just people talking to one another, getting a fix from their roles, doing something which they could probably never get to do in real life, and thats casting spells, slinging fireballs at the other guy, hurling lightning bolts, swinging a magicked sword, shooting a bow, or calling upon the elements to crush your foe that sorta thing. Perhaps I had been overly simplistic, but thats exactly what had attracted me to the game initially, the simplism of the game, the ability of something so simple which draws upon the players' imagination to fuel your drive to play it.

As I progressed further into the game, the game had evolved to the point where its more than just to save damsels in distress, burning villages or kill the evil monster kinda campaigns. It had became more complicated as I was introduced to my cousin's DM, he kinda a dark ages romanticist, and he has such a knack for bringing life into the stories which he tells, his games were normally much more lively with witty conversations with his NPCs. We had games which involve plots, subterfuge, assassinations, and insidious plans set upon us by dark and evil characters within the game. It became complicated, yet, at the same time, I felt the game became more real, more tangible to what we touch on in real life, yet at the same time, provided that draw of a surreal fantasy world.

2006-10-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

Okay,

Alright lets see, I still haven't finish my draft on the Penang trip yet, ya, theres alot of crap to be wrote, although its mostly the pictures which I did not have the time to upload it (amidst a chorus of boos).. OK OK! I know you guys are probably thinking that I am finding excuses (especially Janice), which I am not. bleah

So I shall dedicate my blog entry today to Miss Janice. Hmm.. sounds wierd that I should dedicate a blog entry to one of my major protagonists... but ya... I guess for her effort in reading my entries I supposed I could oblige her loyal readership with my entry for her.

Lets see,

I don't believe I had known her for a long time, infact I couldn't exactly remember where did I met her first (pardon me lar, I mean I don't note down who or when I met em sometimes). If I am not wrong, the first time that I've got to know this quirky lady was over at Happy (a gay club), for those wondering why the hell I was there in the first place, I don't even have an idea myself. All I do know is that some friend by the name of D managed to convince us of a place with good music and a place to shake our bomboms, and we went.

So it was there I got to know this charbor, I mean, at first glance, seriously, I had this impression that she have this retro style look, straight cut hair, nerdy glasses, and hell, with a set of perky cheeks to boot~ LOL and so there I was sashaying to the music, watching D, iz, and zy getting all warmed up to this ermm.. sassy lass (ok, I only got know the sassy part a lil later).

Alright, to be honest, she really doesn't look like your typical Singaporean chick that walks along the street, I mean, though shes supposed to be elegant (as part of her job requirements), I mean hell I don't see that particular trait when we are with her, I mean come on, which air stewardess will pinch you for 4-5 times for saying that shes a mummy's girl?Yup, elegance is definitely out, but sassy is in, which is where I found out about that part... it didn't take long though, maybe only about half an hour into Happy? lol

I guess she has her cute points, well... her cheeks are cute, cute retro looking glasses, hmmm.. perky posterior, and ermm.. what else? lol... alright maybe I let the rest fill me up on this particular portion, since her cuteness fails to dawn on me whenever she pinches me or grabs for my family jewels (YES!! She did!) whenever I make a smart aleck or wise ass comment about her *bleah*. Nonetheless, apart from those cute/uncute parts about her, after getting to know her for awhile, you'll realise that she isn't that bad I guess, well... apart from her quirkiness, unruliness, sassiness, cheekiness, and blurness behavior, taking those away, you actually get a down to earth, filial, fiercely loyal, emotional, and fun loving friend. *smiles* To be honest, Janice must have been one of those few persons I know whom would never fail her mum for dinner dates or outings, she would never find excuses or reasons not to go (which I must say I had been guilty of several times), for her, commitment to her family is probably one of her top priorities in life, and I really respect her for that.

Although I'll have to say I did not really have a really good impression of her during certain points of our friendship (read my entry on FoB), where I do find her too emotional at times when it comes to certain decision making, I guess after geting to know her better, I realised that its just her, and I guess the part where shes loyal to her friends kinda offsets most of her supposed bad points, and whats the most important criteria for being a friend? That is to be there for that person when he needs it, and Janice happens to be that kind of person, one who believes in the things that she do, one who believes that to be a good friend means one to be able to commit to maintaining that friendship. And for that, I am quite willing to be the kind of friend for her whom I would offer my well meaning advice to her, bum and crap together, and of course, offer my aid and support whenever she needs it.

Though if it helps, she really gotta curb her emotional outburst a little sometimes. *chuckles*

Well, thats it for my post today, and I am kinda expecting more pinches the next time I see this charbor again. Wish me luck people.

2006-09-20T02:26:00.000-07:00

Been feeling a little poetic today, must have been the really lax office environment which I am sitting in right now. Alright, can't say that I've been lazy, just that there just isn't anything to do at the moment.

Apart from writing poems *smiles* right.

And this is written for a friend, whom had left me for another far away place quite sometime ago...

The Fight, for you

Sounds of the other side tugs at me
I feel the fight sip out of me
Could I not stop this slide?
Staring at him as I look inside
The anger simmers within, the bell rings twice for it to end.
I could not fall to him, as I sought to fight to the bitter end.
I asked myself for what I seek
Desire I say, is what I need
Not too soon in gasping breaths, tore myself off tired clasps.
He raised his arms in mocking scorn, taunting my efforts as futile moans.
The fists connect in crackling thunder
Hot blood spew as sinews torn asunder.
Aspirations fulfilled with elations I felt
The raging anger deflated like felt
The thoughts retained... reminding myself what I’ve won
The glory attained... with blood, and strength well worn.
I knew not for which I cried,
Yet, you knew I fought, not for wounded pride
The questions answered in simple light
Resilience, hope, and strength portrayed
Defending honor as dignity dictates.
And for you my love,
Where death forbade.

2006-09-14T01:19:00.000-07:00

Friends..

Alot of times I had tried to maintain a certain kind of moral dignity and to constantly remind myself not to be judgmental with the people I know, whether or not they may be doing something which I may not like. Realising the fact that no one may be truly alike, you would also realised that there is really no one whom you might find no fault with (therefore the reference where no man is a saint comes from). For me, whether they are just acquaintances, fair weathered friends, or truly close-personal friends. I've tried to treat them the same, given the same amount of priority with my limited amount of space, and time.

And having friends is all about finding the right people to be with, and to know if that person is the right kinda person, the kinda person whom you could comfortably sit down and crap about what you think, without having to constantly consider the potential landmines with the person you are crapping to.

Speaking bluntly had been one of my better virtues or curse for that matter, and there were actually times when I question myself if it was truly worth letting people know who I really am at times. There is a still this little part of me inside which tells me I should keep a little of myself inside, there might be people out there whom might try to hurt you for knowing you too well. And on the other hand, I know that in order for others to open up to you, I should always be the first to do it. It is this little dilemma which I had to deal with every single day when I go out there, and say hi to that bugger...

Then there is this friend whom told me something, she said,
"You could only be hurt by the amount that you want yourself to be hurt."

And I perfectly understand what she means and how she felt, but I guess I deal with things a little differently from her, and how the context of the sentence reflect on me. For me, to allow oneself to be hurt by someone would have to be someone whom mattered to me in the first place, and to be honest, there are quite a few people in this world whom matters. And they had earned my trust in many ways and many times before, and I could probably not envisage alot of certain circumstances where I would be hurt by them. And it does take quite abit for someone to reach the stage where their loss would mean alot to me.

With regards to the people whom I consider as friends but had not reach the stage where they would matter alot, its more like a points system where people in my life are constantly rated by their actions. Whether I truly matter to them, or if my feelings were part of their considerations and of course, in situations where they stick by you when the going gets rough. In all, actions speak louder than words, and words are cheap, I could tell you a million times that you are my best buddy in the world, but it only takes a single instance of thoughtless action to tell you how much that "best buddy" truly feels about you. And I could only say that I had been through alot of that, and I had been alot more forgiving than I used to.

It does feel wierd that I would actually rate my friends that way, but to be honest, I do not really have a chart which tells me where my friends really rank in terms of my affection for em. To me, all my friends do matter to me, whether its more or less, but I guess in my heart, I know whom are the persons whom do deserve that extra thought or that extra time from me. And to those whom I still call friends that would probably cause nothing more than a blip on my friendship radar when they disappear, I could only say... just too bad.

A penny of my thoughts...
Could I charge a dollar instead?

2006-09-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

Apparently I had been receiving more complaints lately with regards to my lack-of-updates-blog over here. Been kinda compelled to come back here to try and make a statement. *shrugs helplessly* (Ya I m sorry Sel~ lol)

I guess there are quite abit of things which I could have blogged about. But I guess I had either been really lazy, felt that my writing is too bad to be posted here, or just.. simply don't feel like writing it down. Oh well.. pardon me.. I mean.. I had never really been hit by the blogging vibe anyway (as the readers of my previous blog understands this as the exact reason why my last blog closed down).

Alright some of you peeps probably know that I had left on a short trip to Penang not too long ago (hmm.. alright it was 2 months ago) after I had left my last job.. right.. had way too much angst leftover from there *sighs* (will leave that story for the next post)Anyway.. for some whom might not know.. that was hardly the original plan.. what can I say.. the best made plans never stood against the test of human volatility.

Well.. for the uninitiated, the original plan was to fly off to Bali to enjoy the 3Bs and 3Ss there, the bars, babes, booze, sun, sand and sea, since my good friend D is able to obtain lodgings at half the marketed rate from a friend operating resort bungalows over there, me and my fellow conspirators were thinking, "Wow, great deal.. sure." Which was something that was planned ermm.. somewhere in April or May? (can't really remember) anyway.. things were kinda going smoothly (smoothly is an operative word), emails were sent back and forth, comfirming the suckers goin, comfirmation with our lodging there, plan over wat we gonna do there..

(Alright, details up to this particular part of the story is limited to wat I know had transpired. Since there were certain gray areas which is a little too sensitive for me to comfirm from the antagonist(s) or the antagonised.)

UNTIL.. I received a msg from my good friend D that the whole thing had been called off, and he had decided to cancel the rooms which he had already booked. I was quite stunned (to put it mildly) to know something like that, after all that hassle? And I checked with Zac (one of the conspirators), only to comfirmed that fact, and naturally the first reaction on your mind was, "Wat the fuck happened?"

Had second hand knowledge from Zac that there were some complications (and since he mentioned complications.. it should be complicated) and I finally understood that there were 3 parts to this story.

(Ok.. there were originally 5 conspirators to this plan, they re D, Zac, Zy, Yl, and me, lets call us the Fellowship of Bali or FoB for short.)

Ok, there was this mutual friend of ours (I call her Jan/princess, she prefers to be called the latter), I understood later that she was the originator of the idea to head to Bali, which so happens to coincide with my lil idea to skip to some foreign land to let go of my angst, and she had the intention to head out out to Bali with our FoB. Then, Yl went on to invite Jon (whom happened to be Jan's pal, which at that point in time, I don't know him personally) to the trip, and one of the complications started when Jon was not sure if he could make it, since he might be going to LA in that period, which resulted in some strong words from some of us in the FoB that if he can't comfirm in time, then we would naturally leave him out of the plans, rather than to drag down the entire group with his unpredictability.

Which so happens, a 2nd complication arose when Riz (a good pal of Jon and Jan) knows about the trip, and realised that he was not invited, got either pissed/mad/unhappy that he wasn't part of the plan. Which cause a certain amount of unhappiness with Jan, where she decided later on, not to go due to a certain event which she had to attend (and I probably assume that in no small part its also due to this unhappiness caused by Riz). Which although we had attempt to persuade her to join us, for I feel a certain amount of obligation to soothe that bump caused by Yl, and hope that Jan will join us again (well.. she is a mutual friend and the originator of the idea which I had mentioned earlier), which unfortunately, did not happen.

So I thought, alright.. we lost one person to the trip, but I figured that it shouldnt disrupt the plans too much.

UNTIL.. the 3rd complication arose when Yl wanted to bring his gf along.. alright.. I am cool with that.. as long as they stay in their room with all their hanky panky, I m really cool about it. Unfortunately, which was not the case when Yl enquired if it was possible for D to obtain ANOTHER bungalow for just him and his gf AT THE DISCOUNTED RATE. I mean for goodness sake, that guy (friend of D's) gave us a bungalow at half the rate as a good will for his friend, and Yl had to ask for another discounted rate bungalow AFTER the lodgings had been comfirmed. Sheesh.. couldn't Yl have some sense of decency to think for D if he were in HIS shoes? *Sigh* anyway.. naturally D got pissed..

So in the aftermath of the above complications, D in his pissed mode.. decides to cancel the lodgings and therefore throw our plans to Bali into the cesspool. Well.. to be honest.. I can't say that I blame D for his actions, I mean.. considering wat had transpired with ppl not being able to comfirm their trip, ppl dropping out, and peeps asking for ridiculous requests? I think I might have done the same..

So.. the morale of the story is.. Get the show moving. Stick with the plans if you intend to get anything done, ESP if its a trip overseas with your friends. And if there re other buggers whom wish to join in, make sure that they are able to comfirm as well.. and as for fools asking for something out of the ordinary.. drop em.

*Sigh* I was quite pissed by Yl with his actions for causing most of the complications above.. but on hindsight.. I guess its juz him.. knowing him for the past 9-10 years? I should have known better.. as much as I wish that he would change for the better.. and perhaps finally think for others and consider circumstances in other ppls' shoes.. somehow.. I keep getting disappointed by his crap.. perhaps its time that I should stop expecting and start moving on..

So.. with all the planning and discarding.. we turned from FoB to FoP.. the Fellowship of Penang.. WOooWEee.. and as many of you guys would have guessed.. Yl is not part of the troop..

Woah.. and after all that.. I think I had written quite abit *chuckles* this is probably one of my longest blog ever. Now I know why girls' blogs are so long esp when they re totally emo. lol~ anyway.. will write about that Penang trip sometime.

Till then
Hope u guys had enjoyed this totally meaningless story =)

2006-07-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

Based on the recent debacle on a certain article titled “S'poreans are fed, up with progress!” in the Voices section, TODAY newspaper and the reply by Ms. Bhavani in the same newspaper (3 July, 2006).

Mr. Brown’s satirical approach towards the criticism might not incidentally include solutions towards the various issues which he had mentioned within his column, but it does point out the issues which are nonetheless critical to the average Singaporean. While highlighting the very same issues, Mr. Brown had not used the most conventional of methods to convey his views. Yet, isn’t this exactly the feedback by the common citizenry to the government which they had been trying to obtain?

Ms. Bhavani happened to point out that Mr. Brown’s views on these issues distorts the truth. Although there had been no apparent attempt to do so by the writer on the disputed column, from his writings, was the satirical display of sarcasm towards governmental polices and his apparent disapproval of them. Speaking from a viewpoint of an everyday Singaporean experiencing the brunt of the policies implemented after the GE. Might I ask just about every Singaporean, who would not feel sarcasm?

I do agree with Ms. Bhavani’s observation that Mr. Brown’s column might induce controversy from his sarcastic criticism of the government’s less than fair weather policies. Yet, its one thing for a government official writing in to defend the implemented policies, but for a high ranking public servant to come out with her guns blazing chastising an average Singaporean with her bureaucratic stance for saying his piece with regards to his views of how the policies affected him, that is a tad unbecoming of one whom is supposed to be working to embetter the lives of Singaporeans.

While the government have the right to decide on the course of how Singapore should be administrated through the mandate of the General Elections, the opinions of its officials should be balanced with consideration for the common citizenry and not condemnation of their views in the bid to defend their own.

Open discussion of governmental policies in a public newspaper is one of the important channels which officials could garner well grounded feedback from the citizenry and could choose to act on it with any solutions rendered or defend their policies with good will. I do hope that this does not stop journalists or newspapers to stop highlighting the issues whom are important and are affecting Singaporeans to the government or any relevant institution.

2006-04-11T09:08:00.000-07:00

Wierd.. Wit-lost.. Nincompoop day..

*Boo noises from the background*

Right right.. I know I know.. it had been awhile since I had last wrote something up here.. AGAIN.

Yes yes.. Moi fault.. pardon the inexcusable one.. *bows*

Alright alright.. now where was I.. oh.. I was just about to begin with the topic of the day. Going straight to the wierd part, I was wading through the innumerous amount of work stacked upon my desk after yesterday. Staring at all the sheets of statistical reports, manpower records, material analysis printouts.. and I happened to chance upon an errant sheet of paper lay strewn amidst the stacked chaos on my in-tray...

And there was a printed review of Ice Age 2: The Meltdown right there...

Alright.. I had just seen that show 2 weeks ago.. but I dun seem to recall printing any review of the show.. besides.. WHO WOULD PRINT MOVIE REVIEWS?! Anyway.. I was kinda busy preparing for my presentation for the production meeting set to begin in another 10 mins. Sorting my file, loading files into my thumbdrive, grab the stash of printouts.. and off I go..

While I was going thru my presentation.. there happened to be this ongoing discussion behind the scene.. and there was this sudden laughter from the background..

Andy (me): *raise eyebrow* erm.. something wrong with my report?
Shermaine (QA engr): *giggles* so do u like Sid or Diego better?
Andy (me): Sid.. Diego.. huh?
Jeffery (supervisor): *passes me my handout*
Andy (me): *stares at the handout* Oh geez.. *slaps forehead*

Anyway, for those whom were wondering if I had given out the Ice Age review in one of my handouts. The answer is.. Yup.. just so happened that it was the second page of the review.. full of quotes from the characters in the animation...

and heres some for u guys to enjoy (while I go recover some of that lost ego)

Sid: Manny, who do you like better, me or Diego?
Manfred: Diego. No contest.
Ellie: Manny, you can't pick favorites with your kids!
Manfred: He's not my kid. He's not even my dog. If my dog had a kid, and that kid had a pet, that would be Sid.

Manfred: Uh, Diego, retract the claws please.
Diego: Oh.. right.. sorry.
Sid: You know, if I didn't know you better Diego, I'd think you were afraid of the water!
[Diego grabs Sid's neck and strangles him]
Sid: OK, I don't think I know you better!

Sid: Maybe we could rapidly evolve into water creatures.
Diego: That's genius Sid.
Sid: Call me "Squid"!

Manfred: Don't listen to him. Fast Tony would sell his own mother for a grape.
Fast Tony: Are you making an offer?

Traffic Vulture: Parents: Please do not leave your children unattended. All unattended children will be eaten.

Andy: Dumbass: Please do not leave your movie reviews unattended. All dumbasses will be strangled.

Later

2006-01-12T06:49:00.000-08:00

Some of the wierder things I've seen.. *chuckles*

and I wonder who is gonna pimp in this restaurant anyway..

OKAY... right..

2006-01-12T06:18:00.000-08:00

It wasn't easy.. raising references to the critical events which had undoubtedly shaped me into who I am now.. it is exactly the kind of thoughts which is going through my mind right now. Pondering what would I have been if I had not made those so similar mistakes which I keep seeing people dropping themselves into..

I wonder.. if I hadn't been so thoroughly dropped myself into the idea of an early exit from studying.. would I have completed my studies and proceeded straight to a clear cut uni study and perhaps got myself a decent job and well.. straight into the rat race.

Looking at myself right now.. it seems that I m doing no differently.. juz perhaps.. that I had taken a longer route at it.

Then again..

I don't think I would have wanted things to happen any differently I guess.. I supposed its exactly the mistakes that I've made and learned that had defined the very person I m at the moment. *smiles* I wouldnt say that I had turned into a nice guy from dropping and pulling himself out of pitfalls.. a guy turns practical from that.. and know wheres the next hole and don't drop into it again..

Its just that..

Theres always the moments of weakness when the regrets came seeping in.. yup..
I've hurt a none too few people in my life
like I said.. I wasn't really a nice guy
well.. perhaps I've gotten better..
and realised that some things.. are either best left unsaid.. or undone
if things could be undone then..

Then.. the nice bits

I've met alot of nice people.. friend whom had accompanied through some of the most difficult bits of my life.. stayed on after I've screwed up my studies.. stayed on even when I was whining and going through a series of madness induced rampage after some of the most heartwrenching failures in my relationships.. and yes.. I am grateful.
And I must say that if not for these positive inserts into my life.. I would have turned much bitter in alot of respects.. compared to now that is..
That must have been wierd coming from a Sagitaurian.. but hey.. nothing is perfect

Another series of crooked ramblings from yours truly

Till the next crazed episode..

2005-12-15T06:05:00.000-08:00

Listening to...

发如雪
Snow-like hair

Using my so limited literary talents, I had taken liberty at a bold translation of a very beautiful song. Its actually not so much of the song, but the lyrics of the song which had almost brought me to tears. The literary talents of the person whom had written its lyrics, had made me proud of my lineage and the way which chinese words could be expressed in such a beautiful expression of the soul.

and here I present the translation...

狼牙月伊人憔悴
Wolf fanged moon, thine dear one is waned and sallow

我举杯饮尽了风雪
Raising the cup, drinking in the wind and snow

是谁打翻前世柜
Whom overturned the cabinet of past lives?

惹尘埃是非
Raising the dust of dispute

缘字诀几番轮回
Predestined riddle of fate of unending reincarnations

你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
Frowning, crying over a lover whom would not return

纵然青史已经成灰
Even if the annals of history had turned to dust

我爱不灭
My love would never end

繁华如三千东流水
Grandeur like three thousand streams flowing east

我只取一瓢爱了解
Yet I chose a ladle of love to comprehend

只恋你化身的蝶
Longing only for your butterfly incarnate

你发如雪凄美了离别
Your hair like snow, a chillingly beautiful parting

我焚香感动了谁
Whom is touched by thine burning incense?

邀明月让回忆皎洁
Welcoming the bright moon, enhance my memories bright and clear

爱在月光下完美
Love becomes immaculate underneath the moonlight

你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
Your hair like snow, a torrent of tears

我等待苍老了谁
Whom had been aged by thine waiting?

红尘醉微醺的岁月
Within the world of intoxicated mortals in an drunken era

我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑
With my unending regret, carving a tablet representing my eternal love for thy...

To be honest... I do believe that no matter how talented I am.. I will never be able to capture the essence of the lyrics in another language apart from its original. What I had managed to translate here, had been done in the context of the song.. the feelings that were rendered into me when it was played. As such, I had not made a literal translation of the song, which would undoubtedly... destroyed this beautiful song and disgraced what the author had in mind when he had written it..

This lyrics were written by

方文山
Fang Wen Shan

For those whom do not understand chinese or whom had the predetermined idea that chinese could never be written in a beautifully poetic manner.. *smiles* well.. I would only say that the loss is yours...

2005-12-14T07:26:00.000-08:00

I've looked at my blog time and again.. wondering if I've made the right decision to put my thoughts.. going-ons.. life.. and then again my decision up here.. to raise issues here.. would probably mean to allow myself to be questioned.. judged and placed under net-public scrutiny by people that I hardly know or perhaps dun even know in the first place..

Look at our well.. supposedly most famous female blogger in Singapore.. Miss Xiaxue.. *smiles* I guess that her quest for fame had perhaps earned her juz as much fans and haters to her slightly less than intellectual postings with regards to her well.. *chuckles* ramblings about her great personal beauty, disclaimers to false accusations.. and yes.. the infamous public toilet ramblings for the disabled in the news recently.. but well.. whom are we to judge her? I guess to a certain extent we re all fame seekers.. trying to garner attention to ourselves one way or another.. hoping that we'll get noticed in this so wide world.. to our oh so limited talents or looks? She might not be the most intelligent blogger around.. posting about theological views of the world or people.. but she definitely thinks shes the most beautiful and doing something that she likes to do.. ok look~ I dun agree with everything she says~ but I do think that I like to use a bigger toilet too.. BUT.. not at the disabled's expense *smiles*

Going back to myself.. I rather talk about my oh so crazed ramblings about my friends.. colleagues.. world news.. and lesser about myself.. therefore inviting less scrutiny about my personal actions/decisions/motives and watsoever~ I know wat u guys are thinking about..

"Oh U arse!! STOP TALKIN ABOUT US!!"

Ya I know.. alright pardon me k? I dun really like to put u guys up here to get laughed at *chuckles* and oh ya.. someone had kinda commented a fren on her blog that she happens to look like Xiaxue~ lol.. and I think she got a lil pissed.. I wonder whys that.. *shrugs* Whichever the case..

There were alot of things which had happened during the past month when I hadnt been blogging.. ya I know.. I m sorry~ I m kinda a on-off blogger *smiles* and here are some really smiley faces whom had enjoyed thine birthday cake~

and there.. seems like everyone enjoys cakes.. as we all see their (and mine) satisfied looks *chuckles* we can all move on to something more interesting the next time I decided to twitch my teeny weeny fingers on this blog shall we? *smiles*

Till then
Jya na minna san

2005-10-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

It has been a long weekend.. phew.. and finally its over

Oh wait.. its already Tuesday.. man.. that proves how tired I was.. trying to get a grip on myself.. pulling my sore and tired arse off my bed and finally putting my fingers onto the keyboard..

............................................................

Alright.. after a few minutes of typing and backspacing.. I had given up.. will write something interesting the next time.

A great present someone given me~

Howdy~~ there.. our favourite sign.. shown straight at me

2005-10-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

A day of relaxation lying down while someone is there to help u shake off the day's fatigue.. it definitely feels wierd having chocolate smeared over my face for mask.. (I admit.. first experience) lol

Though wierd.. but its definitely a nice one.. at least I feel kinda invigorated after a few months of mind breaking schedule planning at work. At least during the time there.. I actually had time to think and tick off the several things that were hanging on my mind.

One of em would be to start reading those books that I had bought and left collecting dust on my desk.. going back to the drawing board for the roleplaying game I m planning for my cute bunch of slackers.. finishing up my sketch of my good pal Melissa (yea I know~ I have not forgot about that) and yea.. my biggest headache.. plannin for my Japan trip at the end of this year.. lol

So many things to do.. tsk tsk

Seems perfectly suited for my blog here isn't it?

2005-10-18T06:26:00.000-07:00

Another seemingly endless day before the fall of dusk that signals that I should get the hell out of my office.

An earlier exchange between me and my cute colleague at the lounge after I asked her for her number for the 2nd time (dun get anything wrong there.. I lost my phone remember?)

Zhen: Andy, why u keep losing ur phone ah?
Andy: *Sipping my hot mocha* becuz guys dun keep handbags like u girls do
Zhen: Thats not the point.. besides I m quite sure u'll lose the handbag even if u have one
Andy: *mumbles* yup.. I definitely dun lose my bf while shopping at wistma either

(Got slapped on my shoulder and my back for the next few seconds)

Andy: alright alright.. me bad~ me bad~
Zhen: so next time tattoo my pretty number onto ur butt k?
Andy: and for? I can't exactly twist my neck and look down my butt?! besides.. ur number is the last thing I would ever want on my butt.. *mumbles* pretty sure it goes the same for ur bf...

(Got slapped on my shoulder and back for perhaps a minute this time)

Well well.. pretty much describes my day at the office today.. bleah.. but whichever the case. I had to thank Miss Ng for providing me an enjoyable exchange to put up here (lest to mention the sore back). Perhaps apart from the beatings and thoughtless banter that I've had in my office.. it does brings to mind some of the happier memories I've had with fellow companions that had accompanied throughout this unexciting and dull journey of life.

Feeling a lil nostalgic here.. hmmmz... I muz be getting old.. OMG...

Hey Hey.. dun look elsewhere.. I know u guys whom are reading this blog.. uhuh~ yup YOU! We are getting old together hahahaha

Geez.. I think I m getting nonsensical here.. truly sorry for the outburst of dumb comments.. time for me to end right here before I start to spew nonsense like a beer hogging drunkard (sounds like u right Darren?) hahaha

Looking forward to that spa trip tommorrow~~

2005-10-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

I know that many ppl were kinda waiting for my first blog post in perhaps.. say.. 3 years? OMG some would say.. but *chuckles* seriously I m never really into this blogging business in the first place.. for starters.. I personally could find alot of better time well spent on other aspects of my life.. hmmm.. getting laid for example~

Alright alright.. thats a lil extreme.. but ya.. still much more favourable than putting my butt on my leather backed polyester seat.. sipping on my iced lemon tea.. fingers recording my personal history of being dumped because of a cheesecake/grab an idiot off a railing on the 8th storey/crashing off a kerb while cornering at 90 klicks per hour/chasing after a indian with an old lady's purse in his hands/getting ripped off by one of my closest fren/or spend 3 years on a unrequited love.. bleah

unexciting huh~

there I figured..

tsk tsk

but anyway.. I think I m getting slightly tired of being in the rat race.. trying to chock up enuff dough into my bank account before flying off somewhere to get my long awaited degree.. but mebe one of my fren is correct.. and yup.. u re April.. she who makes her blog hers.. and declaring all those who crosses her path up there in 4 simple words~~

I will kill you...

hahahahaha

be honoured girl.. ur name is the first to appear on my blog eh~

But anyway.. one of my poetic works of the day.. feeling inspired after a really tiring day at the office while sneezing incessantly like an 8 year old dawg after being thrown talcum into its nose. Like wat my colleague said..

"Andy.. u re weak leh" she chuckles off

I said "Zhen.. I never told ur bf that we hugged on the beach after ur first breakup with him."

-silence-

Back to my work shall we? =)
I've titled it..

The Raging Morons

Sizing off the steps of marble, concrete, and stone
I knicked, knacked, and cracked the doldrums of despair
A dottard old figure rained strained music to the auntie's ears
She screamed "No insurance I tell you!"
I chuckled, pondered, and grinned
The whistling train came rushing past with its flickering windows
I stared into its ponderous inhabitants
each staring out at me with a murderous grin
the hatred within their crazed eyes
their rising rage
my increasing fright
the sliding doors move out of sight..
Raging Ah Sohs charged
An Andy thought
The raging morons..